The world is full of different people from good natured, hostile, aggressive, non-aggressive, assertive, and non-assertive. However, very often people tend to be confused between assertive and aggressive behavior. While assertive behavior is more about standing up for yourself, and not trespassing on other people’s rights, aggressive behavior not only tends to be hostile, but also threatening, demanding, blaming and at times even sarcastic.

I personally believe that being assertive in life is important because it means being able to communicate what you want in a clear and precise manner and at the same time respecting your own feelings and rights as those of others. An honest expression of your feelings, assertive behavior is a mirror of a self-confident and self-respecting individual.

Most of the people avoid being assertive because they are just afraid of not being “liked” by others. But not being assertive when necessary can allow others to take advantage of you and damage your self confidence and self esteem. For those of you who fear being assertive, it’s important to understand that not being so can make you feel completely powerless and out of control. Below are 7 steps that can help you become more assertive in life and increase your sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

1.You must work to build a value and self-belief system that permits you to be assertive. Don’t control your emotions always. If you are feeling angry, allow your anger to be expressed, say NO when you want to, ask for help when necessary, and make mistakes or take risks. Avoid asking tag questions such as “It’s a beautiful day today, isn’t it?” or statements questions such as “Won’t you turn down the volume of the TV?”

2.Don’t allow people to interrupt until you have completed speaking out your thoughts. If someone interrupts you say – “Just give me a moment, I haven’t completed my sentence.”

3.Don’t indulge in self-restrictive behaviors like nodding excessively to please them, or smile too much for acceptance, or tilt your head when someone is talking to you, or when a person gazes at you, you drop your eyes unable to meet their gaze.

4.Remember not to say Yes when you mean to say a No. Just be decisive in your negation. And try to explain your point of view.

5.Try to use sentences that begin with “I Want” or “I feel” or “I Believe”. Always acknowledge the situation or feelings of the people involved but also stand up for your own individual rights. Ex: “I know how you must be feeling, but I believe….”

6.Whenever you feel angry, you should use what is commonly considered the “I” language. This language helps you express your anger in a positive manner and allows you freedom to be clear about your feelings. Ex: “I feel…”; “When you…” etc.

7.Listen to people and let them know that you have heard and understood what they have said.

Maintaining eye contact while having conversation is a great way to be assertive yet polite and it reflects your inner self confidence and self-belief!