Life Coach Bill

The world is full of different people from good natured, hostile, aggressive, non-aggressive, assertive, and non-assertive. However, very often people tend to be confused between assertive and aggressive behavior. While assertive behavior is more about standing up for yourself, and not trespassing on other people’s rights, aggressive behavior not only tends to be hostile, but also threatening, demanding, blaming and at times even sarcastic.

I personally believe that being assertive in life is important because it means being able to communicate what you want in a clear and precise manner and at the same time respecting your own feelings and rights as those of others. An honest expression of your feelings, assertive behavior is a mirror of a self-confident and self-respecting individual.

Most of the people avoid being assertive because they are just afraid of not being “liked” by others. But not being assertive when necessary can allow others to take advantage of you and damage your self confidence and self esteem. For those of you who fear being assertive, it’s important to understand that not being so can make you feel completely powerless and out of control. Below are 7 steps that can help you become more assertive in life and increase your sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

1.You must work to build a value and self-belief system that permits you to be assertive. Don’t control your emotions always. If you are feeling angry, allow your anger to be expressed, say NO when you want to, ask for help when necessary, and make mistakes or take risks. Avoid asking tag questions such as “It’s a beautiful day today, isn’t it?” or statements questions such as “Won’t you turn down the volume of the TV?”

2.Don’t allow people to interrupt until you have completed speaking out your thoughts. If someone interrupts you say – “Just give me a moment, I haven’t completed my sentence.”

3.Don’t indulge in self-restrictive behaviors like nodding excessively to please them, or smile too much for acceptance, or tilt your head when someone is talking to you, or when a person gazes at you, you drop your eyes unable to meet their gaze.

4.Remember not to say Yes when you mean to say a No. Just be decisive in your negation. And try to explain your point of view.

5.Try to use sentences that begin with “I Want” or “I feel” or “I Believe”. Always acknowledge the situation or feelings of the people involved but also stand up for your own individual rights. Ex: “I know how you must be feeling, but I believe….”

6.Whenever you feel angry, you should use what is commonly considered the “I” language. This language helps you express your anger in a positive manner and allows you freedom to be clear about your feelings. Ex: “I feel…”; “When you…” etc.

7.Listen to people and let them know that you have heard and understood what they have said.

Maintaining eye contact while having conversation is a great way to be assertive yet polite and it reflects your inner self confidence and self-belief!

A positive mental attitude is extremely important to overcome the challenges life throws at you successfully. Much like a good diet nurtures your body, and ethics nurture your business, you require a positive mental attitude to nurture your mind. Read the 7 steps guide to developing a positive mental attitude and overcoming obstacles successfully…
 
1.Positive self talk. Did you know that you talk to yourself in mind constantly? Yes, experts believe that the flow of words through your mind is about 1,500 per minute. Often your thoughts are a mix of positive and negative such as “I am great at this…” or “It’s just too difficult for me…” While negative thoughts lead to low self esteem, doubts, lack of confidence, positive self talk leads to increase in self confidence, high self esteem, and a positive mental attitude. 

2.Nurture your mind with a healthy diet. With daily stress, tension and negativity, your mind tends to get affected. In such cases you must take positive steps to reinforce healthy thoughts on a daily basis. Read positive books, good newspapers, listen to motivational records, and learn to relax your mind.

3.A very important step in building a positive mental attitude is to befriend positive people. Many experts believe that those individuals who associate with like minded and positive people then to be more successful in life. Successful people with healthy mental attitude will also help you develop a positive mental attitude when you join them.

4.Consciously control negative images from being formed in your mind. What you see in the outer world is a reflection of the pictures that are formed in your mind. When you have a positive mental attitude you will tend to see future that is bright, prosperous and successful than your present.

5.Work to develop a positive and optimistic lifestyle that is healthy and happy. Remember the maxim: “a healthy body maketh a healthy mind”? Well it’s true. A high level of mental energy and a positive mental attitude will help you deal with the world. Ensure you eat healthy, sleep properly and peacefully, and exercise regularly to stay fit. A poor diet and a lazy lifestyle will leave you tired and incompetent to cope with life’s challenges.

6.Training and Development will make your mind strength and enrich you as an individual. You must try to participate in a minimum of four such programs per year.

7.Finally, learn to be proactive. Being proactive will mean that you will always be ready to take initiatives and have full control of your life leading to increase in self esteem, and self confidence levels.

For developing a positive mental attitude you’ll have to feed your mind a healthy diet!